tl;dr
Tactics - Be kind, responsive, and constructive whenever possible, and whenever impossible.
Strategy - Be mindful of your manias, and cognizant of how they interact with your partner’s.
These thoughts are brought to you by two good articles that have crossed my path recently. Regardless of whether you agree with some of their specific claims, their deeper messages are clear, clearly useful, and usefully specific. Highly recommended reading.
Tactics for Relationships: “Masters of Love” by Emily Smith, writing for The Atlantic
PS: I was discussing these articles with my cousin, and we ended up focusing in on the Tactics Article’s distinction of “positive, constructive” responses. This, we realized, is the same framework that underlies the concept of “Yes, and…” in improv.